From the joy of hot water to the rest from our own beds, we, who have just returned from Quimistan must grapple with many ambivalent emotions. I still remember the return from my first foreign mission trip to Bolivia in 1990, as I wondered why God had chosen me to be born as a North American. Now having returned from my 12th trip to Quimistan, I continue to be grateful for the luxuries of my life. Yet, I find they are an encumbrance as well.
I am now completing my seventh load of laundry. If I and the members of my family only had 3-4 outfits, it would not take so long. And if I did not have a washing machine as most folks in Quimistan, I bet we would only have 3-4 outfits. If we did not all have our own bedrooms and bathrooms, I would not have so much cleaning to do. If there were not so many choices in the grocery store, it would not take so long to create a menu and purchase the items needed. If I did not have a dishwasher, I bet I would not have so many dishes either.
If I did not have these luxuries, would I use my time more wisely? Would I visit with my neighbor? Spend time playing with children? Rest in the Word, the Holy Bible, more? Would I depend on my Lord more if I had less?
These are only a few of the emotions with which I struggle. A young man, whom I have claimed as my second son in Quimistan asked me about my house....Is it big?, he asked. What could I say but 'yes' compared to the small four room home in which he lives with his family of 7.
I began to cry as I told him and he wondered why? I was ashamed of my excess and told him that I wished I could bring one of my bedrooms to his house so he and his siblings (3) did not have to sleep in the same bed.
I struggle with the questions - Am I doing enough? What more can I do to show the love of Christ to these humble people? Is my witness a stumbling block to anyone? And although, I do not know all the answers, I know who does. And He has blessed me with the opportunity to love and serve the people of Quimistan, Honduras.
When you answer the call to foreign mission work or local ones, you will find that you receive much more than you give. As I have heard before: You can not out give God. But it may be fun to try.
Blessings from the comfort of my own home, your sister in Christ, Roxanne
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